THE VOW

Groom:

I can’t promise perfection
I won’t promise a ‘honey I’m home’ announcement when I come home
Or flowers in hand or
Sexts everyday at morning, noon and evening
I won’t swear that I will stop drooling at Kim Kardashian’s
Awesomely shaped bosom
Or stop taking the occasional suspiciously long moments with my internet
In the bathroom
I won’t entirely leave Billy’s company
My unfocused carefree bachelor age mate
Who thinks married people are losers
I won’t promise you a ride in heaven, or
A tour in paradise
There will be a bit of hell,
With frequent fires and brimstones.

But I promise to be there
To love you always despite.


Bride:

I will live with your imperfections
That’s what it comes with ay?
But I won’t promise you cloud nine moments everyday either
Not always will I want to burn my fingers making dinner
Or spoil my manicured nails washing soiled jeans and shirts
I won’t promise not to hang Usher’s shirtless poster on my wardrobe door
Or bitch about men with my yet-to-be married girlfriends
Sometimes I will fix my hair into a head bun
Put on baggy pants and t-shirt for a night wear
Not always will I pull striking hot red sexy lingerie
I will also hate on your mother
If she imposes her 60’s education on me
Or, hates on my cooking, my friends or my life
I will not be the perfect daughter-in-law

But I will love you still.

TILL DISASTER DO US PART.







[Photo courtesy of Google Images]